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Post by mountainma on Sept 13, 2023 8:32:28 GMT -6
Do any of you have experience dealing with dementia with a loved one? I could sure use some tips. Dh's dad was just diagnosed with Parkinsons and the doctor says it goes hand in hand with dementia. The doctor left it "up to him" about driving, etc. Fil was having a good day and the doctor was not told about all the latest behaviors we're witnessing.
The deal is, I'm noticing my fil is worse every time I see him. Dh and his sister are FINALLY noticing some behavior I picked up on a couple of years ago. They shrugged it off as grief since mil died. A few months ago, fil ran his vehicle into a ditch and "didn't know how that happened." I'm scared to death he's going to cause a wreck and hurt himself or someone else. He's constantly getting confused, keeps calling at least once a week wanting dh to balance his checkbook, etc. There's a lot of things not making sense, not adding up, etc. and we're wondering what to do. For example, he will call and ask me to do something, then completely forget he asked and act rude when I do as he asked. We planned an entire day to come over and do an activity with him and dd1, then when we drove the hour to his house he suddenly got defensive and didn't want us there. I am exasperated.
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Post by ginakay57 on Sept 13, 2023 9:13:43 GMT -6
First of all it sounds like his car keys need to be confiscated. But then you’ll need to make arrangements for groceries to be delivered and you (or someone else) take him to his doctor appointments. As far as balancing his checkbook maybe keep his checkbook with you so you can pay his bills for him. Another choice is of course put him in a memory care facility or nursing home. I haven’t had to deal with dementia with my mom (dad passed when he was 62). My father in law started getting dementia about 2-3 years before he passed (passed when he was 94). One of dh’s sisters was the one going to his house to take care of him. She’d pay his bills, do his laundry, helped bathe him, and cook his meals. They took his keys from him before the dementia got very bad since he lived in a high crime area and drove a nice Navigator. He got mean at times, cussing out the dd as she tried helping him. His kids (dh included) got onto him telling him she’s trying to help him and for him to stop talking to her like that. They weren’t sure how much behavior was within his control. He’d apologize then do it again. Sorry, dear, I really don’t have much of an answer for you. Hugs
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Post by michelle on Sept 19, 2023 7:05:02 GMT -6
I don't have much in the way of answers either, I just know that it is hard.
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